


Lucky

by ditchthevillian



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, God bless Harry honestly, Liam is the nice support, Louis has been depressed since 2013, M/M, Niall is the comic relief, Self Harming Louis, Suicide Attempt, and Zayn is a bad memory, as per usual, current time, he's about to go on a ride, lets see, trigger warning, well well well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 09:11:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7709299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ditchthevillian/pseuds/ditchthevillian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To Louis, his failed attempt at suicide was exactly that- a failure. Yet Louis waking up in a undeserving hospital bed left those around him deeming themselves lucky. </p><p>or</p><p>Harry makes a private compromise with Louis' psychiatrist to undo the damage in Louis within a span of 6 weeks. If Harry fails to make Louis the least bit of happy by the deadline, Louis must retreat to a psychiatric institution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lucky

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a work in progress! But I have had this idea in my head for quite sometime and thought it needed to be persued. Please, pay attention to the tags. The last thing I am intending is to upset/trigger a reader.

Louis' fingers danced across his wrists as he let his blue coconut shampoo seep into his roots and cascade down to his neck and belly. His touch no longer soothed his nerves, but rather caused uninvited flinches. He was a glass sculpture with poundings from everyone's sledgehammer, yet he feared his very own cautious stroke would do the shattering. He'd been broken down so much that standing up for himself would first require him to stand up; the band's hiatus has promoted the tossing and turning, yet never emerging, from a frigid and empty bed.

With a rough sigh, he shut off the now lukewarm water and stepped onto the all-too-familiar rug, a towel hugging his shoulders. He turned to the mirror and waxed away the heat from his shower with his hand, revealing the image of his broken expression he'd given up repairing. So much sadness linked to the man who used to be the boy making everyone laugh. 

With the heavy reminder of his dejection, he scooped up the orange-peeled bottle and dumped the daily pills into his palm. You can't be happy? Here's something to make you less sad. 

Popping pills was out of habit by now. Dressing from head to toe in balmy weather was too. Allowing the itch of the underside of his wrists was not. If that was something Louis could control, he would never have these scars stack up like dirty piles of clothes. 

He'd been asked once: "Louis, why the red marks? Haven't you tamed that silly cat of yours yet?" Of course, how could one expect his eleven year old sister to ever understand the marks being intentional.

Louis cannot even understand it himself. 

It takes so much for somebody to finally cave. For Louis, it took the adjusting-- or never really adjusting-- to change. Change. Something Louis always dreaded. 

One day he's gazing across the stage at a boy he would get to go home with. The next, he's failing to feel at home in a colossal flat he's lived in for 3 years now. 

What makes matters worse is that the boy who broke him doesn't even realize the kind of repairing Louis needs. 

The last time they made contact was the last performance before the break. The song of 'History' was one that seemed to sum up any sort of relationship the two had had. Louis dreamt of at least laughing with Harry again-- dreamt of holding a conversation instead of pitching small talk back and forth. 

Louis dreamt of having Harry in his life again. 

Now, he was stuck in the nightmare of his own.


End file.
